another year older, another year wiser?
it was my birthday a few weeks ago and it was a good one. the majority of the day, or let's say the week was spent outdoors, going on long walks, exploring cute parts of minnesota, and yummy yummy treats. the sun was shining and chad got me my favorite chocolate cake from wuollet bakery (and because i loved it so much, i am thinking that i should get it for chad's birthday too, i mean who wouldn't want a delicious cake from wullots for their birthday?!)... because we take birthdays pretty seriously, we celebrated, not just saying "birthday weekend" but hardcore celebrated all weekend long. luckily for me, it was memorial day weekend, meaning there was an extra day to celebrate, hooray!
each year that birthday sneaks around what seems to be faster and faster. how am i another year older? i see more wrinkles. i at times feel more tired. i feel slightly more wiser, or i like to think so. but i love seeing how i've grown. so much happens in a year. this past year was a year of self discovery. up until this point i felt like i had it all together, i thought i knew what i liked, i was married, i thought i was "done" growing. but... you know, that is never true.
but i have to say, i love taking time to see what has developed over the past year.
things i learned:
that i really, really love cooking. in every aspect. this past year of my life i cooked more then i ever had before, i read more about it, i learned new techniques. i now can say that instead of thinking i can cook, i know i actually can cook. and chad will testify to this ;)
plants make me happy. starting my little garden has brought me such joy. i have started to try and focus on finding little things that make me happy, and not people. not that people are bad, and that don't bring you joy. but i think as humans we become so dependent on relying on others to make us feel good, when indeed it is up to ourselves to determine our happiness. what makes you tick? what makes you feel good? i never really put focus on this until this year and it truly is liberating. why did i never explore the things that brought me joy? why did i think my happiness was contingent on someone else. either way, this is a growing area for me and one that i will continue to explore in this next year of my life. and to say the least, plants make me happy, and i know this. and i am going to continue to find things that bring me joy.
i am more of an introvert then i thought. i never thought i was an introvert. and then i got busier. and then i would continue to fill my time with things and people, never allowing myself to have a break. and then, in january, i reached a breaking point. i realized that i did not focus on myself. i thought i loved being with people (and i really do), but, that i truly needed alone time to function and to give me rest. i was running out of energy, and had little to give. with that, i learned, hey, i thought i was an extrovert for so many years, and not that i am not an extrovert now ( i am for sure), but i do need alone time to function and will have no energy if i don't allow myself any.
television is boring books are more fun (not a big surprise)
sitting at an office for 8 hours is tough. i worked as a nanny full time for two years, and last march i have changed fields and now am working in a desk. granted, this job may be more of a resume builder, but man is it tough sitting at a desk. hey, it is a learning experience isn't it?
so here is my little rant about growing up. this adulthood stuff throws me off all. the. time.
i think i got it all figured it out,and then i go through a tough spot. i learn more about who i am. but each year, i look back on my year of self discovery and am proud of how i have come.
do you do a little self discovery on your birthday? what age do you wish you could rewind to?
dress// anthropologie shoes// target glasses// old navy